Celebrating the Holidays Alone

Are you alone and wondering how you'll be celebrating the holidays this year? Whether you're divorced or widowed, a single parent or the spouse of a deployed serviceperson, it most likely seemed easier when you had a partner to share in the planning. But now that you'll be the one creating the holiday mood, take advantage of the freedom you have to develop customs that are just right for you.

1. Recognize that it won't be easy. Perhaps you're feeling more vulnerable and out of sorts after everything that has happened. Accept your complex emotions and acknowledge that it may difficult for you to enjoy the holidays as much as before. You can relieve some of your inner stress when you don't expect too much of yourself.

2. Take the process one step at a time. Holidays are stressful and this year won't be any different so try not to get overwhelmed. Do what you can without putting extra pressure on yourself. Set aside some time to relax and enjoy what the season means to you.

3. Look for support. Friends can throw you a lifeline as you adjust to your new status and way of life. And your extended family will help fill in the gaps created by your missing partner. The more adults there are to provide loving support to your kids, the easier it will be for them.

4. Consider your finances. You may need to budget differently this year so consider how you can reduce holiday expenses. Perhaps you and your friends can agree to forgo the usual gift giving and instead exchange homemade treats or enjoy a potluck dinner together. With the continuing tough economy, it's likely they're also looking for ways to cut back on costs.

5. Create new rituals. Plan to do something different for the holidays this year. There's really not one perfect way to celebrate so change your usual routine and enjoy the excitement of new experiences. Perhaps arrange to get away from home - visit a friend, volunteer in your community, go for a hike, travel nearby.

6. Include others who are alone. You're not the only one whose celebration may be bittersweet this year. Share your holiday by Inviting a single friend or relative into your home or serving meals at a soup kitchen. When you're making your own holiday preparations, set aside some time for those outside your circle. You can donate toys and books to needy children, cookies to a homeless shelter, music to a nursing home.

Holidays may remind you of the joys and sorrows of past gatherings but try to stay focused in the present. Let go of your expectations and instead create celebrations that are meaningful to you now. You'll find your experience of these special days can create new memories to savor throughout the year.

(C) 2011, Her Mentor Center

Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. is a family relationship expert with a model for change. Coping with stress, acting-out teens, aging parents, boomerang kids, difficult daughters-in-law? Visit http://www.NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com
and http://www.HerMentorCenter.com for tips, ebboks & free ezine.


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Save Money While House Sitting

When you go on your next vacation, you can enjoy all the comforts of home, avoid hordes of fellow travelers, and live rent free. The simple secret to all this is that you will become involved in a process known as "house sitting."

First of all, house sitting is a win-win situation for everyone involved. While you stay in someone's home for a designated period of time, you can see how the locals live and, in certain cases, even use the home owner's car to run errands and do some local sightseeing.

Rest assured that home owners benefit from this arrangement as well, because they know that a house sitter provides extra security, and that their home will be well-maintained while they are away. Also, if a pet dog is part of the arrangement, they will save the substantial fee a kennel would charge in their absence.

What you can do

If house sitting on your vacation is something that interests you, there are websites people use when house sitters and home owners want to connect. Both parties pay a yearly membership of approximately $40, and that will enable you to browse for listings and, in certain cases, correspond with home owners as well to finish making the arrangements.

Making your decision

When you do, note that every house-sitting job is different. For example, some homes are located out in the country, while other people make their home in the heart of a bustling city. Also, while one home owner just wants "someone to watch the house," another will expect you to perform specific chores or spend a considerable amount of time looking after their pets. With this in mind, you will want to perform what realtors refer to as "due diligence" before you enter into any house-sitting agreement.

This means that you should always ask questions to determine what the home owner expects of you and how much of your time will be spent in meeting those requirements. If this means that you won't feel as if you are really on vacation, or that your sightseeing will have to be sharply curtailed because of their needs, it might be best fore everyone concerned if you moved on to another listing.

Landing the job

Once they list their property, some home owners find that they are overwhelmed with applications because they live in a prime location, and you will have to stand out from the rest if you want to be noticed. Because of this, it is a good idea to provide them with references that will add to your credibility, and if you plan on house-sitting for the first time, you can use a character reference or one from your employer instead.

In regard to the rules of basic house-sitting etiquette, be sure that you keep the property in the same (or even better) condition that you found it in when you arrives. Clean the home at the end of your stay, and remember to replace any food you have eaten as well.

For more information about house sitting please visit AussieHouseSitting.com.au.


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